Your Connections: Better Than You Think

Have you ever hesitated to reach out to a friend or strike up a conversation with a stranger, only to find yourself pleasantly surprised by how well it went? You’re not alone. Researchers have found that we consistently underestimate how positively social interactions will unfold and how much we’ll enjoy them.

For example, studies have shown that commuters who engage in conversation with total strangers during their journeys report more positive experiences than those who kept to themselves — despite predicting the opposite. Similarly, research shows that people consistently underestimate how much their conversation partners liked them and enjoyed their company.

But here’s another twist: not only do we underestimate the potential positivity of future social engagement, we also tend to forget how good past social interactions made us feel. People often fail to accurately remember the positive emotions associated with social experiences.

Recognizing this gap can be a powerful tool for increasing our social engagement. By understanding that our sometimes-pessimistic predictions are likely inaccurate, we can push ourselves to be more socially active. Moreover, actively reminding ourselves of the positive outcomes of past social interactions can help counteract our tendency to forget how enjoyable they were.

So, the next time you’re hesitating to socially engage, remember: science says it’s likely to go better than you think and you’ll enjoy it more than you expect.